Ok so I haven't been writting on my blog much, mostly becauseI haven't seen the need... I rarely feel like writting when things are going well.. my journal at home is only written in when i'm depressed/something is bothering me/ or things are starting to get boring.
This habit bothers me in a sense because my happiness goes undocumented for the most part. If I read my journals when I am 84 I might view myself as a highly disturbed and unsettled individual. But I wonder what fascinates people more - despair or happiness? I would say happiness as it seems like such a harder state to achieve.. and even maintain - but then again people who are constantly happy seem so blissfully unaware, like well fed babies. So really what I find more fascinating are those periods of happiness, before boredom sets in, before there is an internal shift. May it be days, weeks, months even. In between there isn't always despair.. but there are periods when your relationshop with yourself requires more attention. It's more during this time that I write, and indulge in other creative outlets - sometimes to escape or take my mind off things - and other times because that is all that i can do to stay sane.

Everything still bodes well in Ottawa but 9-5 is slowly taking its toll and I fall asleep by 1030. I feel like such a grandma.