Forget-him-not. Forget-him-never.

I was rereading the first post from yesterday and realised I forgot two people who are very important to me: Vimla and Jamie (Ottawa BFF).
Back when I started going to TFS in grade 5, Vimla was one of the only people who cared to reach out. Kids can be evil and cold, and young adults can be jaded and judgemental... but Vimla is neither. I recently spoke to her about something I wasn't proud about, and she wasn't condesending, she was thoughtful about the situation in a way that I think is rare at our age. Oh, and she can party like it's 1999 on a Tuesday at 9, so that helps too!
Jamie saved me from a lonely and boring summer while I was in Ottawa - it's amazing how just making one friend can lead to an amazing 3 months and and many continuing friendships. She was probably the best "host" that anyone could have in a new city and I was never bored or without plans. And because good friends are such a rare find, I can't wait till she comes to the city!

In the same note of recognition and appreciation, I feel it is appropriate to mention that today is the 10 year anniversary of my grandpa Claude's death. I am aware that I muse maybe a bit too much over death and dying, but Claude's death was probably one of the worst ones that I have ever had to endure. It changed everything. I have always been close to my mother's parents and they filled the roles that non-existant (or non-participating) family members could have, so as a young child I never felt that our small family lacked anyone, or any love.
What was the worst was how I saw that it affected my parents and my grandmother. I saw my parents slow down a little, I watched my grandmother become less active and lose the desire to cook or do the things she loved.
And even if I have become aware in these past 10 years that perhaps he wasn't the person I thought he was when I was 11 years old, my memories of him have not been damaged. I loved him very much, and still do, no matter what his past faults or mistakes were, it is undenyable that he was a wonderful grandfather.

I think we are all haunted by those we loved... I sometimes still think I see him in store windows for a second, walking by, only to realise it was merely an old man with white hair and blue eyes. I am haunted in the same way by friends I love and miss. You think you see them for a second, but it is only a trick of your mind, as a way to remind you that they still loiter in your thoughts; a way to remind you to call them if that is possible.

I did something today that is very fitting to Claude's memory: my carpentry class is on Mondays. When I was 5, I "helped" Claude make me a stool so I could reach the counter top. He gave me a red kid's hammer. I stil have the hammer and the stool.