I haven't blogged in a while because I couldn't think of anythign worth blogging about.

Althought I am someone who greatly appreciates spending time alone, withdrawing myself from the constant pressure to interact with others, I do not enjoy feeling lonely either. I doubt anyone does. Those whose company I enjoy most, are friends who I feel no need to impress. To them, it doesn't matter if I am unemployed and living at home, they still like me and like to spend time with me. I also like them because I have no role to fill with them to be the funny one, the cute one or whoever some superficial acqaintances take me to be.
It seems as though those who are most valuable to me are slowly moving away from Toronto. Alex S is now in New York, Claire is moving to South Africa for a few months, Cat is in Scotland for the year, Alykhan is in DC somewhat indefinitely (so I am more used to him being away) while countless others are just too busy with school and work (shrad, emilie, majid...)
This doesn't mean that I am feeling lonely, but now living at home, I miss being subjected to ever changing company. Something I dread more than being lonely is monotony (and mediocrity, but that is another issue by itself). And althought I am extremely happy to no longer be at Queen's, I miss the proximity to a few of my favorite people that it provided. Going out wasn't an ordeal, it could be spontaneous. Hanging out wasn't something you planned hours before either.

And now, my constant company is my mother. I suppose it is a good trade. Lossing contact with all those who I never really cared for anyway, and then gaining someone who pays for a lot of stuff, makes me food and does my laundry. Yeah, pretty awesome eh? But I should mention that she likes to talk. . . a lot? And I'm in serious trouble if I don't feel like talking when she feels like talking.


I miss my condo in Ottawa. It was peaceful and beautiful there. And I had a job.