Ever talked to someone you like and then get super awkward?
As in, you don't know what to do with your arms and keep repositioning them and your nervousness gets worse and absolutely obvious?
Yeah.
Totally felt like a 14 year old girl Saturday afternoon.
Ugh.

i'm comfortable. maybe a little too much so. but'm ok with that.

Before doing time in Kingston, I thought one of the greatest shames for a university graduate was to move back home after undergrad.

Well here I am. And I'm in no rush to leave.

Do I feel shame? Nope.

Instead I feel extremely practical. And happy. Beyond the financial benefits, I'm living in a great house, with two people who actually care about me (enough to wash their own dishes, not make noise after a certain hour, and the best of all - to do most of my laundry). There is nothing like living with someone who will pick you up from the subway at 10:30 pm, after work, and another someone who makes romantic candle-lit dinners on an almost-daily basis.

This ideal living situation won't last forever. Maybe I'll get a boyfriend and we will all start bickering again, maybe they will get sick of me or maybe I'll get a new job and enough money to move past my eternal adolescent state of mind.

Not that I mind this feeling of being perpetually a teenager. It's a great way to deny that I'm in my 20s and should start to assume responsibility about my future (whatever that is).

Ok maybe I should work on that last part. I'm 22 and I am in a somewhat dead-end job. This wasn't a part of my master plan. Accordint to 14 year old me, I should have been in med school by now, not a girl with a degree in Art History, living with her parents.

Wait! There it was, that first tingling of shame.

And then gone again as fast as it came.

As a Gen XYVZ-er (whatever they call us), I think I'm am part of a trend, that of graduates living at home after university... and not feeling guilty about it. At all, how could we even try to live well in a city with ridiculous rent and low paying entry level jobs?
A harsh reality that is so much easier to deal with when you can watch 24 on a big LSD screen with Mom and Dad.

Hmm... maybe that is only my reality... so perhaps I should feel a little bit guilty to live in such rich surroundings?

(Then again, that guilt could just be originating from the repressed Catholic in me. So instead I will just count myself lucky)

Clarification:
Alykhan got it wrong - it's not a two-in-one. Tsk tsk. But that doesn't mean that Two-in-one is a bad thing, I have great anti-cholorein 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. So there.


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Back when I was living the sweet unemployed life, sometimes I felt insulted that my working friend were "ignoring" me. A feeling that seems overwhelmingly silly and self-centered now!!! Yet I feel bad for now having enough time for some of my friends!!!

random notes

My love of TV continues, but I am still far from looking like a couch potato. I might be currently suffering through a horrible work schedule that is mon-thursdays 4:30pm-10pm and then most Saturdays and some Fridays but thanks to the glorious new technology that is TVR I can record and then watch my fave TV shows in peace (and without commercials thanks to the fastforward button!)

Thursday nights are one crazy clusterfuck of good TV.
Thankfully Grey's is past its uneven start and Scrubs is showing those other medical shows how its done (and I have read that there might-possibly-hopefully be a seventh season!)
What is getting even better is my new Thursday night fave, Ugly Betty. Last week's episode was genius - even if it did kind of rip off "How to lose a guy in 10 days". Best part of the episode? Realizing that Becki Newton (who plays the uber bitchy Amanda) must have put the makeup department through hell to get her looking like Ruthie.

Another exciting and stupid development in my life:

Garnier's Fructis has *FINALLY* decided to bring the "Curl and Shine" shampoo/conditioner to North America!!! YESSS!!! This is my favorite shampoo EVER! This makes me sooo happy.
I actually brought back extra bottles from France, and bought some in Spain. Why did it take them almost TWO YEARS to bring this to me?!?!





Damn my life is boring.

The office experience continues, in its own weird and special way.

I'm making some money and it's amazing location, so I've decided to stick with it till something better comes along (yes, I am already looking). Having friends live close by and a bit of retail therapy (but not TOO much because turns out the pay is less than mediocre) will make it possible to continue.

I worked 6 days of the last week and actually slept almost all day on Sunday. It was my first 40 hour work week in months. Going out late on Thursday and then having to be at work early on Friday didn't help. Neither did going to a bad play on Friday night. Finding a balance with a random work schedule won't be easy, but hopefully it will happen.

Saturday wasn't so bad (besides being terribly tired) because I met the last receptionist (who works twice a month, and only on Saturdays), and she finally explained to me the toxic office politics and the series of events that lead it the messed up situation that it is. I won't get into specifics here, but it all confirmed tensions that I saw between people. And also why I don't totally fit in. I'm sad that A (I don't know how else to refer to her, but I'll have to come up with something else for the other receptionist because all of our names start with As) works so infrequently - we really got along and she was kind of enough to show me what to do/help me without looking bothered when necessary.

As I wrote about last week, I am terrified of getting "stuck" in a job that is underpaid and leaves me intellectually understimulated (smallfat also mentions this in her recent blogging... as well as sexual harassement, something that I have learnt didn't fade away along with the 60s views of women). I have a plan as to fulfill what I wanted to here, and then leave - for another job, to travel, whatever. I've told my parents and my dad agrees with me and ofcourse my mother is playing devils advote on the issue (which she ALWAYS does, so i've continued half listening to her advice and not address her views as it avoid another unnecessary argrument).

I have to say it was good to start 2007 with a job, maybe I still lack that clear sense of purpose, but atleast I'm not sitting at home wishing I had a job to bitch about.

i wish i was a rockstar

I started work a few days ago.
Or perhaps the right thing to say is "I started working again last week after a period of leisure".

And within the past 4 days I have worked enough to remember why working hard breeds general lassitude in the masses; about their views towards the state of the world in general. It's because by the time you're done, you're so fucking tired that all you care about is having something to eat, taking off your work clothes and watching something on TV.Then sleep. And repeat.
A comfortable routine kills a general desire "to stick it to the man" or "fight the power".
Or atleast that is the way I view life after 4 days of work.

Does having too much money numb your desire to break free of the system?

No wonder ppl in the arts are underpaid.
Artists could never fund a revolution.

.......

The new job has also made me realise that I am terrified of getting stuck in a job for which I am grossly overqualified.

... how did I only get accepted to something for which I am overqualified? how did that happen? and how did my life suddenly get so boring? what happenned?