you say hello, and i never say goodbye...

Yesterday, I moved out of my little apartment on King St. East in Kingston, marking an end of undergrad. It also marks the end of complete freedom and independence as I have now moved back into my parent's house in North York.

The move has proved to be relatively anti-climatic. I wasn't so emotional about leaving, almost relieved. Walking around campus the last few days, I felt the same way as I did at the end of level 5 - that it was time to move on, and there was really no reason to feel sad. Sure, I'll miss my favorite people, but I'm not too concerned as I know I'll see them all again soon as many people have planned to move to Toronto. And for the rest of them - Toronto is only 2 hours away from Kingston, how much easier can it get?

This is not at all how I felt leaving France last year. It was choatic, I was alone, and both very sad and very happy. I was fine until I was on the plane half way to Toronto, and then I started bawling loudly, in the middle of the plane. Alone on a plane realising I was leaving one of the happiest times of my life. The stewardess and everyone stared at me for a bit and handed me kleenex hoping I'd just shut the fuck up, because a crying adult on a plane is more annoying than a crying baby.

So this not how things happenned this time around. And when my mom started the "you're going to have to be more of an adult now that undergrad is over and you are 21" speech I did the mature thing and zoned out.

I did something else that made me question my maturity - I completely avoided saying goodbye to everyone. Because I don't like saying goodbye, and I don't think it is selfish to do so... it's avoiding unnecessary drama. I perfer saying "see you soon". And when I am drunk, I end up kissing everyone on the mouth saying how much I will miss them (well atleast I did in France).
And sometimes I cry when saying goodbye - worst one was probably when Jane was leaving Canada and going back to England...
But ultimately I am not a fan of saying goodbye, it seems too final and mostly unnecessary in our age of communication.